....RAGE...

So, I've started therapy. Of course, I was put on medication. I go once a week to try and untangle the web of my past. HA. Things with the husband have gotten worse and worse. Everything is starting to boil down to this one question: do I respect myself enough to make a stand and end the degrading treatment? It all feels so hopeless, like it's never going to get any better. I feel like I'm stuck in a whirlpool and there are no edges for me to try and grab onto. I can't even try to swim parallel to the shore, like in a riptide. I'm slowly being sucked out to sea and there's nothing I can do about it. Even if I try and free myself from it, there's no escape and it's just a matter of time before my strength starts to fail. The only person I really have to talk to is my therapist. I just... I hate my life. I feel so desolate. Everyone tells me I need to get away. Oh, if only it were so easy. I'm losing myself and I don't know if I'll be able to regain any of it when (and IF) I make it through this.